A Closet Fan’s Exposé: Part I

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Artwork by @miuruu2

I’ve long given up my sanity by spending more than half of my life getting crazy over a myriad number of artists. Squeaking like a sandwiched rat? Screaming in the absence of ghost? Pinching someone out of nowhere? Grinning like a madman? I’m notorious to that. The rest of the world may have their mind bubble saying THIS IS RIDICULOUS but ooh! Sorry to pop that ‘cos THIS IS BEYOND LOGIC.

But all my life, I’ve never been a closet fan who would zip her mouth and mysteriously lurk like a cat with glowing eyes at night. I was actually stereotyped as someone who would spend the next few hours revealing the whole history of a single person that I look up to and will eventually recruit you to board on the same boat with me. Until… the forces of the universe conspired and I got to know this girl. 

This time around, my mouth was sewn shut from speaking while theirs were given freedom to make a sound. ‘Twas even tightly sealed when their opinions about her don’t go with mine. I invoked my right to remain silent – and I was supposed to stay that way.

But as time goes by, and the more I see the deeds of this girl, I’m feeling it in my bones that I should protect her from this unforgiving world. And believe me, dragging you to jump on my boat is totally not my intention this time. This is to shed some light to the minds that are clouded with misjudgments. It’s all up to you in the end. And if I learned something in the art of silence, it’s that you can have more time to comprehend and glam your mind up for a revelation. And this blog is a closet fan’s revelation for…

The Miracle Daughter, Kirsten Danielle Tan Delavin best known as Kisses.

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1. She is beautiful, is she not?

I have to be honest. I wasn’t also convinced with her visuals when she entered the house. As a matter of fact, she didn’t earn my attention during the early weeks. Whenever her name made its way into my ears, I would just think “Ah Kisses! The beauty queen who carries make-up all the time?” It was that and just that. Who would’ve thought of the world to suddenly flip around and plant her in my never-ending list of interests? The more I scan through her pictures, the more I come to see and realize her beauty. I heard people saying she is not beautiful, her face is not proportional, she is chubby, she is blah blah blah and yeah I’ve heard enough. But I am confidently telling you this: She has a countless number of charms which you’ll probably fail to notice if you’d neglect the option of getting to know her more.  Lately, I’ve been hearing feedbacks from casual viewers which intrigued me even more because all of them were awe-struck by her beauty upon seeing her for the first time (not exaggerating).  They said she really is a head-turner. And oh! According to her, there’s this one thing every girl should know: “She is beautiful in all that she is, in all that she will be.”

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2. She is full of wisdom and wit

She’s not a beauty queen for nothing. She has the looks, she has the confidence, she has the poise but most importantly, she has the brains that would leave your jaws locked for eternity with every thought she forms in her head. This girl has a countless stocks of nuggets inside her brain and is ready to share them to the entire universe. The way she perceive things is so admirable – not the shallow type of knowledge you’ve already realized for a lifetime of learning. She has a very wide point of view and a very deep understanding of things. I must say I learned a lot from Kisses and this is the crowning reason why I am deeply impressed by her. Not her glamour or whatnot but her words, like an arrow aimed and shot straight through your heart. Ask her random or rhetorical questions and she won’t fail to surprise you – even under pressure. It’s her forte after all!

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“…the main problem in this world: not global warming, not Ebola, but the conflict among men…”

3. She is not afraid to be honest and transparent

Some of you may mark this as her weakness, might as well use this against her. To state the most obvious example, it was when she confessed her feelings for a co-housemate. Disclosing what she really felt inside would obviously cause ruckus to the viewers and would draw judgments in every corner of the country. It is not a piece of cake, revealing your feelings in crystal clarity with your life being broadcasted but she still chose to be honest in the end. She spilled a bucket of tears, showed how much her heart ached. At some jiffy point, I also thought she mustn’t react that way because there’s really nothing going on between them but when she started to apologize for her feelings because of the possibility of  a broken camaraderie, woah, that caught me. It’s a proof that she values her friendship with the other housemates more than her own feelings. She is never afraid of admitting her flaws, her lapses, her insecurities, even willing to sacrifice herself for the benefit of others and that’s something I appreciated a lot. It’s an act of bravery and it’s not easy to do that you gotta admit!

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4. She is full of positivity, always.

Up until today, hatred still fuels inside a lot of human beings which is the saddest part in our existence. She doesn’t deserve all the hate they are throwing but she keeps on receiving them. The best thing about her though is that she never let these stones hit her, didn’t avoid them even. Instead, she tries to catch ’em all with an armored heart and a ready mind. Now here she is building her very own castle out of ’em! This explains why she’s still able to control herself from fighting back heedlessly. When she does, at least with class. She’s someone who’s born ready to flash  a blinding smile until her eyes are nowhere to be seen, let out a contagious dolphin laugh to outshine all bashes and hate. But hey, she’s still human. Even if she kills it all with kindness, it is no news that she is scathed deep down inside (which is a harsh reality if you’re a public figure) but thankfully, she knows how to handle it very well. Positivity plus learning the art of dedma is the key. That’s her specialty!

5. Her greatest love = parents and God

When it comes to her parents, she is the sweetest of all the sweetest. Her family is her life. She’s cool to accept criticism from anyone who takes bashing as a lifetime job but she won’t let it slide if her parents are affected with these irrelevant issues swarming in their life. Everything she does, her willingness to learn, her passion and determination to do anything, it’s all for her mother and father because she wants to make them proud – of course, after God. She never forget her roots because it’s in them where she gets motivation and strength to do better and venture on new things she is about to face in life. She strongly believes that she was given a miraculous event (her second life) for one reason and that is her mission to fulfill in this world. With this being told, she is off to find out what her mission truly is. As she said, “Everything you do, you do it for God and all for the glory of Him.”

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6. Her goodness is influential

Kisses is someone who is willing to know everybody regardless of who or what that person is. She has been described as a ball of sunshine for a lot of times by a lot of people and that is because her bubbliness, together with her optimism and sweetness, radiates above everything. I don’t know but she has this power that would make you love the people around her slowly but surely (even if one of them belongs to your Human Beings Whose Existence Annoys Me list), at least for me. She gave me the realization that it’s easy to judge someone and blab this and that because we only choose to enjoy the sight of the tip of an iceberg instead of trying to dive deep down below for further discovery. Some people see what they only want to see. And I realized I am one of those people. But now I learned and am trying to pull out  every bit of goodness inside me that I still haven’t extricated from my poor judgmental mortal mind. That’s how big her influence is to me.

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7. She is consistent

Kisses is genuine. She is real. This is like the automatic statement that would come out from the mouths of the people who know her, one that would pop out first in the suggestion box of their minds when somebody would ask them about her. I’ve seen her crazy journey inside the house and I can really tell that showbiz didn’t turn her into somebody else. She’s still herself. Her words, her actions, her desire to learn, her undying determination – she lived up to them til now. She does not let go of words that would eventually evaporate in a snap of time but she chose to utter those that would dwell deep inside her along the way. For that reason, she is not plastic. That is a statement. Kisses is not a girly girl. She is tough. And she’s still innocent at times (but not naive) when it comes to worldly things but I find it really cute. She unknowingly brings out chuckles and giggles with these, in fact. She’s in love with life that she doesn’t want to sacrifice her time on unworthy things. Being herself gives her joy and that is enough.


My list doesn’t end there, actually. I just chose to highlight 7 special things about her.

How she treats her fans is even more impressive.

• She’ll do whatever it takes to get close to them

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• She doesn’t want them to inflict pain on others

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• She never fails at making them feel appreciated

•  Makes time for interaction

• Gives comfort as much as she can

And… can I just add her resemblance with Marian Rivera?

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Here’s a video that would summarize all of the reasons behind my appreciation towards her (you can watch it or not. Up to you):


Featured image: Mega Magazine (Making Mega in Czech Republic with Kisses Delavin)
P.S. Credits to the other photos I used. I kept on saving pictures that I forgot to take note of my sources hehe

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So, what do you think? Did I blow your mind up or did you read this with a plain face all throughout? Share me your thoughts and I’m open to any opinion! Thanks :]

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3 thoughts on “A Closet Fan’s Exposé: Part I

    1. How long did it take for you to finish? Hahaha but at least you made it.

      Am i a ball of sunshine? Really? I don’t know what to say haha but i’m glad if you see me that way awww. Me being positive, thanks to her. She made me believe that with positivity, i can handle things well. Thanks dear friend for reading this despite your hectic schedule hahahahaha love youuuu 💖

      Liked by 1 person

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